Are We Willing to Put our Chid(ren) Though a Messy Child Custody and Child Support Battle?
In the vast majority of domestic disputes the most emotionally-charged and contentious issue is child custody. Unfortunately, many parents unintentionally end up using their minor children as weapons to punish the other parent. Admittedly, some parents act in an intentionally malicious manner when it comes to child custody and child support but they are the exception. The impact of this behavior by parents, be it intentional or unintentional, can and does result in the children ending up as innocent victims suffering the effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences.
The potentially long-term negative impacts resulting from the emotional trauma children experience when parents or extended family members attempt to influence/manipulate the them to take sides during the domestic dispute can and does lead to long-term negative emotional and physical issues that can last well into their adult lives and impact their ability to experience positive and fulfilling relationships of their own. The children of parents who involve them in the contentiousness of a divorce/change in living arrangement are rarely able to deal with the trauma without therapy. That is why many parents who understand the potential for emotional damage that their children are facing, elect to avoid exposing them to the discourse as much as possible and see to it that their children have access to a professional therapist who can help them deal with the transition they are facing in their young lives.
Most parents who are willing to use domestic mediation to their dispute are doing their best to act in good faith and would never intentionally do anything to harm their children. The domestic mediator strives to create an environment where couples can focus on areas where they can cooperate with one another to craft agreements that are equitable and beneficial to all parties concerned, especially their children. By learning techniques of how to resolve issues without it turning into a full-blown argument with posturing, name calling and all the other negative behavior that goes along with arguing, parents are able to save their children from the trauma of witnessing their emotional behavior and they are modeling effective and civil dispute resolution practices that, hopefully, the children will learn to mimic as they face the inevitable disagreements that are part of growing up and navigating a complex world.
Quite often, domestic mediation will result in the parents developing a parenting plan referred to as Shared Parenting or Co-parenting. Co-parenting is not suitable for all family situations but, if circumstances are such that the parents live relatively close to one another and have the capacity and will to work in a cooperative manner raising their minor children, Co-parenting has many advantages. Raising children in an environment of parental cooperation and relative harmony reduces the stress on all members of the family.
Source: https://www.in.gov/courts/rules/parenting/index.html#_Toc84595239
